have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
