Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
