i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
