I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
