Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
