We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
