Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
