im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
