Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
