i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
