I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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