did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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