So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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