were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize