Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
