He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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