remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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