Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize