Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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