My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
