ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
this hospital has no fireball
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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