So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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