she woke up with a sticky ear
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare