We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.