i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN