When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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