Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
