He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
