Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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