how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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