Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
