Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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