Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
