You work out of a Hotel?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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