The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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