they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
