It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
