Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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