Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize