how can u be prego again
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize