She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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