We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
