well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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