is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
