Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
