Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
