I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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