i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
