idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
