i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
