Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
