My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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