she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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