I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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