I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
