Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
