Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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