Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
