There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
