I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
