it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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