He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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